1- The Vital Connection
Dette er et af Gordon Neufelds ”flagskibs” kurser
En anden tekst her end den der står på den gamle side, da den er for lang og knudret til at være let tilgængelig – blokerer mere end inviterer.
De 3 nøgler til denne forståelse vil blive behandlet: TILKNYTNING, SÅRBARHED og MODNING.
Gordon Neufeld væver disse faktorer sammen til et 3-dimentionelt kort, som kan bruges til at stedfæste børn udviklingsmæssigt, så vel som til at se, hvordan man kan hjælpe dem videre på rette vej.
Dette kursus er skabt til alle, der er involveret i opdragelse, undervisning og arbejde med børn og unge.
Du kan se indholdet af de enkelte sessions beskrevet her nedenfor på engelsk.
Distinctives of this Approach
The course begins with an overview of the main tenets, assumptions and distinctives of the attachment-based developmental approach that Dr. Neufeld has articulated. The three conceptual keys to making sense of children are introduced.
The Maturation Factor
Three maturing processes are responsible for moving our children to grow up. These growth processes are identified, together with the theories and theorists associated with each. The construct of stuckness is introduced as the most likely explanation for many learning and behaviour problems. The developmental approach is differentiated from the behavioural or learning approach.
The Emergent Process
If conditions are conducive, a child is moved to become increasingly more viable as a separate being. The emergent process is responsible for a host of wonderful characteristics including curiousity, independence, responsibility, a sense of agency, emergent play and much more. Reviewed are the main impediments to the emergent process, including our typical responses when children are missing the fruit of emergence.
The Adaptive Process
If all was unfolding as it should, children would become transformed when up against that which they cannot change. The fruit of adaptation includes resilience, recovery, resourcefulness and much more. The key to this basic growth process is uncovered and discussed, as well as what gets in the way.
“Giv slip på ønsket om at “finde løsninger på problemer”. Læn dig i stedet tilbage og lad dig oplyse, og opdag, at du spontant begynder at finde din egen vej.”
Du får her en smagsprøve på kurset
Adaptation, Aggression and Discipline
Aggression happens when adaptation doesn’t. This insight to aggression fundamentally changes our response. Because conventional discipline assumes the ability to change when futility is encountered, it is rendered ineffective and even counterproductive when used with nonadaptive children. Alternative methods of discipline are proposed.
The Integrative Process
What moves a child to become civilized and considerate is the capacity to experience conflicting thoughts and feelings. This could be called Nature’s finishing school of maturation. The role of the prefrontal cortex and its development is reviewed.
The Tempering Effect
In this session, we take a closer look at how the integrative process leads to a mature temperament, including the capacity for courage, patience, work, morality, balance and much more. Also discussed is the role of the integrative process in closing the door to impulsive behaviour, including aggression.
The Vulnerability Factor
Every human brain is equipped to defend against a vulnerability too much to bear. The three basic mechanisms of defense are outlined. Also discussed are the factors that lead some children to be more vulnerable than others. The impact of defendedness on learning and behaviour is reviewed.
Vulnerability and Maturation
Emotion is the engine of maturation, but for the engine to work, a child must be capable of feeling his or her tender emotions. The problem with feeling is its vulnerability and therefore what is most likely to be defended against. The implications are reviewed and discussed.
The Attachment Factor
The most powerful factor in maturation is introduced, along with the key theorists and constructs that form the puzzle pieces of attachment theory. Nothing impacts a child more than facing separation. The separation complex is introduced as being at the core of most common childhood problems.
“Min opgave som kursusleder er, at gå ved din side, snarere end at give gode råd.”
How Children are Meant to Attach
Gordon Neufeld introduces his signature six-stage model of how the capacity for relationship develops. Participants learn to recognize how children are primarily attaching. Also discussed is the impact of a child’s flight from vulnerability on attachment.
How Attachment Empowers
The context for raising children is their attachments to the adults responsible for them. This insight would change the practice of parenting and education in today’s society. Attachment is the most powerful force in the universe but needs to be harnessed to do its work. The construct of counterwill is introduced, along with its implications for parenting and teaching.
The Alpha Dynamic
Attachment is not only hierarchical in nature but needs to be so in order to serve its purpose. An understanding of alpha instincts as well as the alpha complex is absolutely essential to making sense of children and to cultivating right relationship. The alpha complex has many manifestations and is at the core of some significant childhood problems, including the demanding child, the competitive child, and the bully.
Shyness and Detachment
We cannot truly make sense of children without an understanding of the polarization of attachment. Shyness is introduced as an attachment instinct meant to protect existing attachments. Defensive detachment is introduced as a powerful attachment defense that can be at the core of a number of troubling symptoms and syndromes.
Attachment and Maturation
A child’s primary attachments create the womb in which maturation is gestated. Rest and satiation are the keys to the fruitfulness of attachment. How to provide these conditions is the topic of this session.
Collecting our Children
Introduced is a three-pronged approach for working with stuck kids. Since stuck kids require a context of attachment within which to work, cultivating a working relationship should be our number one priority. We must begin by engaging a child’s attachment instincts. How to do this is the subject of this session.
Bridging and Matchmaking
Children won’t hold on to us unless we hold on to them. Maintaining a healthy working relationship involves bridging anything that could divide. Stuck kids aren’t usually receptive to forming relationships cold. Using existing attachments to beget the attachments a child needs, is key to matchmaking.
Compensating for Stuckness
Battling against the symptoms of stuckness is futile. Before we can get children unstuck, we must find a work around for the developmental deficits and behavioural symptoms that exist. Six ways of doing this are presented and discussed.
Softening the Defenses
When children get their tender feelings back, attachments deepen and maturation unfolds rather spontaneously. Reversing defendedness should therefore be our ultimate yearning. This session focuses on natural ways to help make this happen.
Priming the Maturing Processes
The course concludes with three powerful catalysts for growth that can also double as effective substitutes for conventional discipline. These instruments of maturation are relatively easy to use and can bring deep and lasting results.